Performance Anxiety…

Performance anxiety impacts all gender identities. It makes a lot of sense for folx that are experiencing performance anxiety to look for the quickest and easiest solution possible. But without understanding and dealing with the cause of performance anxiety, no matter what you do to treat it, it will reoccur. Let’s examine some of the most common reasons why you would experience performance anxiety. First, is the pressure to perform. Society often places a great deal of emphasis on sexual performance, creating expectations and standards that individuals may feel they need to meet. I will often call these “porn scripts” for some folx who have grown up with regular viewing and access to pornography. The script is pretty predictable and often unrealistic for some, but it is viewed as what is common and expected. This pressure can lead to anxiety about living up to those unrealistic expectations. Second, is the fear of judgement. People may worry about being judged by their partner based of their sexual performance. Concerns about being inadequate, or not satisfying their partner can contribute to anxiety. Third, is the lack of experience or knowledge about human sexuality, techniques can lead to anxiety. Uncertainty on what to do, how to please, or just be present, can create self-doubt and a less than desired experience. Fourth is body image concerns. Being self conscious about physical appearance can lead to anxiety about being naked or exposed during sexual encounters. This can create preoccupation with the way things “should be” verses the way they really are and reduce pleasure. Fifth is past negative experiences. Traumatic or negative experiences in the past can have a lasting impact on ones sexual confidence and ability to remain present mentally to enjoy pleasure. This can create anxiety anticipating a sexual encounter, so an individual may avoid sexual contact. Sixth is relationship issues. If there are problems in your relationship such as poor communication, unresolved conflicts, or lack of emotional connection, can create worry about their performance as a reflection of those problems.